We all find ourselves waiting for something in life.

A relationship. A breakthrough. Healing. Change.

Waiting is definitely part of the human experience. And it sucks!

Waiting is hard because it feels like stagnation—like you are suspended in time, clinging to the hope that this coveted experience will materialize. Sometimes what we want comes quickly, but other times we have to wait a long, long time. It’s the long waiting trials that truly test our faith, our resolve, and ultimately our strength.

And while, yes, waiting is indeed a very challenging test, I have learned to look at the waiting times in my life through a different, more palatable lens. As with many things in life, I have found that redefining a concept helps us better understand its purpose in our lives. And waiting has profound purpose.

I know this because some of the most transformative periods of my life have been seasons of waiting.

So before I redefine the concept, let’s look at the purposes of waiting trials or seasons in our lives.

Number one: waiting is preparation.

Humans believe they are always ready for what they say they want. But as a therapist—and as a person who has undergone many waiting trials—I can assure you that oftentimes people are actually not ready for their desire to manifest.

In the quantum field exist infinite possibilities and potentialities. But potential and possibility do not make manifestation. Manifestation is the ability of an individual to attract, tap into, tune into, and select a potential experience.

First, we have to be an energetic match with the experience in order to attract it. Then we have to be conscious and present enough to tap into and tune into it. Furthermore, we must have the maturity and discipline to act on it by making a conscious choice in that direction. Once those factors exist, manifestation can happen—but even then, we must be able to maintain what we have received.

As you can see, life isn’t just giving away opportunities. It is inviting us to become the people who can attract and sustain them. So we must be prepared to become that person.

For this reason, there is often a lag time between the expression of a desire and its manifestation.

Many of us are familiar with the famous and beautiful line in the book The Alchemist: “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

The universe helps us by preparing us.

Preparation will bring mirrors into your life to help you see what is blocking, thwarting, or sabotaging your ability to achieve your desire. It will bring challenges and obstacles that help you work through those things. It will bring teachers and healers who help elevate your awareness. Life will respond, but it will not force you to act. You must choose.

Unfortunately, many humans want to be saved and rescued instead of actually healing and changing. When we secretly hope that an experience will somehow save us from our inner pain and personal struggles, that is codependency.

Our codependency shows up in all the ways we look for the outside world to fix us, heal us, make us feel good about ourselves, or otherwise make us happy.

In this state, our desires may be held back—not because life doesn’t want those things for us, but because they would only become a crutch and create unhealthy dependence in our lives.

Furthermore, when we receive something we do not yet have the psychological and spiritual frameworks for, we often find a way to destroy it. So life creates space and time (a.k.a. waiting) to develop us and transform us into the person who can not only attract that thing, but also steward it.

Another purpose of waiting is allowing.

Allowing is a powerful spiritual principle that is not talked about enough.

Humans are control freaks. All of us have an ego that must gradually be dismantled through the process of personal evolution and awakening. In our egoic state—riddled with fears and insecurities—our instinct for self-preservation pushes us to try to control every variable that creates uncertainty.

This is an impossible endeavor. We simply do not have the power to account for the infinite variables outside of our control at any given moment.

Nevertheless, we give it all we’ve got. We try to keep our hands on everything, always trying to be ten steps ahead of life. And for what we do not have answers for, our brain fills in the blanks through overthinking and analysis.

Though this may grant us temporary relief from worry, it ultimately creates even more anxiety and insecurity at the unconscious level.

The only chance for freedom—and a less exhausting way of living—is often a spiritual awakening that reveals the futility of this effort.

From there, we begin learning spiritual principles such as surrender, acceptance, and allowing.

Surrender is the release of control to a higher power or spiritual guidance that we believe is assisting us on our earthly journey.

Acceptance is the ability to relax into reality as it actually is—rather than how we think, or sometimes demand, it should be.

Most of us eventually learn through experience that trying to force reality rarely works. It usually just makes more of a mess.

Then there is allowing.

The principle of allowing is crucial during waiting seasons. Allowing overlaps with acceptance and surrender. It is the moment where you step back. You know what you want, but you choose to let life meet you—in its way and in its time—at the level of that desire.

Allowing says:

“I am not going to control this. I am not going to force anything. I will observe and act only when life shows me when and how to act.”

While learning to live in the principle of allowing certainly takes practice, it also brings tremendous peace.

And when you can tolerate the uncertainty that comes with it—which is an inevitable part of life—you begin to experience life’s natural process: flow, alignment, and divine orchestration.

The truth is, life has been waiting for us to get out of the way.

Life knows how to bring the experiences we desire. We are the ones who often make a royal mess of things through fear and control.

Allowing is a beautiful dance with life, and it gives life the opportunity to show up and meet us where we are.

Waiting therefore creates space—for God, life, people, prosperity, opportunities, and possibilities to find us as we simply live our lives.

And it is in that space that only what is authentic, real, and aligned will show up.

Life only wants to bring us what is authentic, real, and aligned. We are the ones who sometimes settle for the counterfeit outcomes we force in our egoic control mode. But those will never truly satisfy.

So as you can see, these aspects of waiting allow us to experience it in a completely different way than we have been conditioned to.

Waiting is not really waiting at all. It is the necessary space between desire and manifestation.

It is preparation time.

It is the field where the seeds of our desires are sown, watered, and eventually blossom—in their time, in their way.

This is alignment: not necessarily getting things when and how we want them, but when and how we truly need them.

So if you are reading this and find yourself in the midst of a waiting season, be of good cheer.

There is much happening behind the scenes and beneath the surface.

Life is not torturing you through waiting. It is ensuring that you—and your desire—are truly a match that can endure.

How we view an experience drastically changes how it affects us.

Now you can see waiting as something working for you, not against you.

And as you make peace with the process, you may find that you move through it more quickly at times—but always more peacefully.

If this reflection resonated with you, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.

Namaste.